引退ブログ 北口

こんにちは、#66北口滉大です。

皆様、常日頃からの広島大学Raccoonsに対しての多大なるご支援誠にありがとうございます。今年の結果を簡潔にご報告いたしますと、リーグ戦2連勝で中四国リーグ優勝を決めることが出来ました。僕自身、昨シーズンはリーグ戦後に留学へと旅立ったせいで、同期・それから先輩・後輩と優勝トロフィーを掲げることは出来なったのですが、今年は思う存分みんなと喜び合うことができ、今年のシーズン前に掲げた、「当事者として優勝を味わう」ことは達成できたと思います。このブログは引退ブログも兼ねているので、僕がこのRaccoonsから何を得たのかを、綴っていきたいと思います。拙い文章ですが、最後までお付き合いくださいますようお願いいたします。かけがえのないもの、端的に言うと、仲間です。

まず、これを伝えるためには僕自身の過去を振り返っていく必要があります。僕は小学校から高校まで、サッカーを続けており、大学からアメリカンフットボールを始めました。サッカーをしていたといっても、決して完全燃焼したとは言えません。それは最後の大会をプレーできていないからです。小学校時代は、中学受験のために、最後の一年間は休部させてもらい、復部したのは最後の1か月前ほどでした。さらに、高校時代は大学受験のために、3年時の春から受験勉強に切り替えたので、最後の大会には応援しに行くことしかできませんでした。このように僕自身のスポーツ人生は、一番思い出に残るであろう最後の大会には、「当事者」として参加することは出来ていなかったのです。そうした過去の中、学生最後のスポーツとして、アメリカンフットボールを選び、過去と同じように、自分の将来のため、経験のために一年間の休部を“またも”選んでしまったのです。本来の留学終了時期は、今年の6月下旬であり、Raccoonsに戻れるのは7月中旬ごろになるであろうと考えていました。そのため、帰国後のプレーヤーとしての復帰は正直きついものがあり、スタッフとして何かチームに貢献できることをしていこうと考えていました。“過去のように、最後の大会には「当事者」としてできないのかな。また心残りができるのかな。僕のスポーツ人生はこういうものか。と”留学中は考えていました。それでも、留学中には同期が時間を取ってLINEに付き合ってくれたり、電話してくれたり、またうれしいことに後輩からも連絡をくれ、それらのおかげで何とかプレーヤーに対しての熱意の炎を何とか保っている状態でした。“自分で留学を選んだ以上、プレーするといったわがままは言わないでおこう。僕が帰っても、チームの雰囲気には戻ることは出来ない。”

しかし、1月から状況が一変します。世界中でコロナウイルスが蔓延し始め、留学どころではなくなっていきました。留学先の大学はオンライン授業になり、図書館・ジムは閉まり、またかろうじてスーパーは空いているものの、それ以外の店舗はほぼ閉店するという状況になっていったのです。そのため、3月下旬、約予定よりも3か月早い帰国となってしまったのです。そこから紆余曲折があり、広島には4月下旬に戻り、そこからRaccoonsに復帰していきました。想像していた部活状況(春シーズン真只中の試合に向かっていく状況)ではなく、Raccoonsもコロナウイルスの影響で全体練習は出来ておらず、各々でトレーニングしたり、パートごとに集まってトレーニングしたり、と苦しい状況が続いている状況でした。ここからのことは、怒涛のように、トレーニングをし、七月から全体練習が始まり、10月からのシーズンイン、先日の島根大学戦へと突っ走っていったので割愛させていただきます。

僕は、コロナウイルスを考えるとき、2つの感情を浮かべます。まず、留学を中断する原因になった憎き感情。一つの授業を除いて、試験は無くなり、最後まで完走することができなったためにです。講義自体は、終えましたが、最後に死ぬ気になって図書館で周りの学生とともに勉強したかったなと。もう一つは、早々にRaccoonsに戻ってくることができ、「当事者」として優勝を味わえた要因となったことによる嬉しき感情。Raccoonsのみんなは、約半年離脱し、冬の苦しいトレーニングをしなかった僕自身を、また冬のチームの編成時期にいなかった僕を、何事もなかったかのように、受け入れてくれました。それは、同期も先輩・後輩も同じであり、一緒に公園でトレーニングをしてくれたり、「ご飯に行きましょう!」と言ってくれたり、感謝してもしきれません。一つ一つの出来事が忘れられない思い出です。これからの人生、今までのようにスポーツに打ち込むことはもうないでしょう。過去のスポーツ人生とは違い、最後の最後に「当事者」として、最後の大会を経験し、さらに優勝できて本当に良かったと思います。島根大学戦後には、それまでは憎き存在であったコロナウイルスも、語弊があるかもしれませんが、“この存在のおかげ”とも思えることが出来ました。本当に一切拒否することなく、受け入れてくれてありがとう!部員には直接言うことは、なかなか恥ずかしいので、この場を借りて言わせていただきます。

まとめますと、人生には何が起こるか、一度決めたこともそれを完走するかできるか、正直分からないというのは、身をもって感じることが出来ました。これから、自分の夢を追い続けるために、色々なものを犠牲にしていくかもしれませんが、将来はどうなるか分からない、未来予想図は一度決めたとしてもどうなるか分からない、ということを頭の片隅に置きながら、いつそうなってもいいように常日頃から全力で、人生を謳歌していきたいと思います。

最後に、日ごろから支援していただいている皆様、これからもRaccoonsは日々精進していきますので、これからもご支援・ご鞭撻のほど、宜しくお願いします。自分自身も、少なくともあと1年は広島に残りますので、チームにこれまで教わってきたものを、受け継いでいきたいと思います。4年間ありがとうございました。以上で、引退ブログを終了させていただきます。ここまで、お読みになった皆様、本当にありがとうございました。

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